If there’s one tiny act of ownership one can invest in, may it be that of owning one’s emotions regardless of the “what, how, what, why, when and when”.
The easy way through is that of holding someone responsible for however, whatever, whyever, whenever, wherever and whoever we feel. This is addictive, this is toxic and this is the peak of disempowerment and worst, this is self-victimizing. We have all been there; we all roll there from time to time.
Most of us were never told and taught and many will never be taught and told that “what we feel is part and parcel of our internal experience. Everything we experience has it’s legitimate place within the matrix of our internal existence. This is us experiencing this world through our perceptual lenses, filtered, deleted, distorted, generalized, assumed and spiced up with our endless internal programs and topped up with our beliefs, agreements, memories, anchors, wounds, pains and trauma.”
Relationships regardless of their nature and appellation are the ideal playgrounds for the drama of victimization to be birthed, fed and nurtured. That said, we do not forego and / or condone the sickness of people who seem to have invested of their selves in intentionally hurting others at all levels.
The intent of this write up is to surface this facet “if we feel what we feel, it is an inside business. This inside business has it’s own mechanisms, rules, values, boundaries, agreements, memories, pains and wounds.”
Are you aware of your internal mechanisms?
What motivates you?
What repulses you?
What sickens you?
What inspires you?
What revolts you?
What are you seeking?
What is your language?
How do you create?
What do you believe in?
How do your beliefs fuel your life?
What do you hold yourself from saying?
Eckart Tolle once said “Make it a habit to ask yourself: What's going on inside me at this moment? That question will point you in the right direction. But don't analyze, just watch. Focus your attention within. Feel the energy of the emotion. If there is no emotion present, take your attention more deeply into the inner energy field of your body. It is the doorway into Being.”
We are the ones to unconsciously and /or consciously influence what, why, when, where, how and why we feel.
Here’s the truth, this world is of stimuli. We are the one who consciously and/or unconsciously choose to react and/or respond
Do we react to the external stimuli while holding others responsible for our reacting?
Here’s another truth, people understand us better when we speak in a language that we align best with.
Do we speak that language of alignment to our close ones?
Here’s another truth, just because we have shared something does not mean that now our loved ones and/or anyone understand us better now
Do we assume that our loved ones and/or people understand us now, only to be disillusioned later?
Here’s another truth, no one is responsible for how we feel, we consciously and / or unconsciously influence our experience. You may have been to your favorite restaurant several times, you may have been there when you were in your best state and also when you were sick or in a less of your best state, your experience may not have been the same, for there were so many unseen, unheard, unworded factors at play.
Do we hold others responsible for what, why, when, where, how and who we feel?
Where do we start?
This is the path of self discovery and growth.
For those of us who firmly believe in leaving this world a touch better, then start with ourselves.
Start this journey of expanding our perception on ourselves,
Start this journey of removing our blinkers
Start this journey of ownership
Ownership of the mess and gold in our lives
It takes one grounded conversation at a time to shift and transform
Love from my heart to yours
Image source: Allef Vinicius @Unsplash
Post © Megha Venketasamy, 2019. All rights reserved.